Hi fellow students!
I am new to blogging and I hope I have the right idea about the necessary components. :)
I found the topic of nature vs nurture fascinating. I am one of three children, however, my older brother Vic was not raised by my mother. His father took him away from my mom when Vic was only 5 years old (my mom was 20 at the time). As a child my brother was told he didn't have a mom and he was not allowed to talk about her. As he grew older he began to doubt the stories he had been told of his mom and decided to search for her. He was able to find her! My mom had not seen her son in 21 years and was now talking with him, they arranged a meeting. A short three months later my brother had sold his home in Anchorage and was surprising my mom by moving to Washington! I was 20 years old the day I met my brother for the first time he was 26. Upon first sight (of course through lots of tears!) I couldn't believe my eyes they looked just alike. I even commented to both of them that had I seen Vic on the street I probably would have said "Man that guy looks like my mom!" The similarities do NOT end there. The first few months of "getting used" to having a brother were emotionally tiring in a good way. There were lots of parties and late night chats. As I got to know my brother I almost felt like he fit in to our family more than I did. Mom and Vic were both jokesters (they could have gone on the road for a mother son comedy tour!) I even heard Vic tell the same stupid joke my mom told years ago. They both make quick decisions without thinking them through fully and both have the biggest caring hearts of anyone I know.
Before these trying and awesome weeks/months I thought that personality only had to do with the nurturing a child received, how they were parented, the experiences they had, and the influences of people around them. After seeing how similar my mom and brother are I have changed my thinking. I now believe nature (genetics) plays a huge role, in fact I would say my brother who was NOT raised by my mom is more similar to her than my younger brother and I are (we were both raised by her). While on a family camping trip this summer I realized my older brother and my mom have very similar manarisms as well, these couldn't have been taught by my mom either! They will both tell a joke and if they think it was hilarious they will roar with laughter (an eerily similar laugh). I love my brother immensely and can sometimes guess what his next move will be because my mom and I are so close and they are so similar.
I really enjoyed the reading this week and especially liked the facts given in the article Sense of Self by Thomas Hayden. This quote from the article really made me think, "Maybe I am more like my mother than I want to acknowledge: Some scientists have estimated that as much as 50 percent of a child's personality is determined by her genes, but it has proved difficult to parse out exactly how much of a given personality trait is genetic. Or maybe I just inherited my father's genes, and that's ok too!
I'm looking forward to reading everyone elses' blogs!
“I now believe nature (genetics) plays a huge role, in fact I would say my brother who was NOT raised by my mom is more similar to her than my younger brother and I are (we were both raised by her).”
ReplyDeleteThis concept seems to strike a chord with me. I think it stands to reason the roles we adopt within a family unit, and how that environment will in a lot of ways change the connecting genetic identities that we have with our parents.
If we are genetically arranged to have similar qualities with our parents, what makes us generate these diverse qualities that don't “match up” with our parents identities?
I believe that your brother's similarities toward your mother that are above and beyond that of your own pays homage toward the idea of genetic connection without alteration of environmental influences. Perhaps because your brother was not raised by your mother, he never had to alter himself to fit into a role as a “son” and thus never adapted his personality against the grain of genetic influence.
Maybe if you had also been denied that role you would be able to draw more parallels between you and your mother.
“Before these trying and awesome weeks/months I thought that personality only had to do with the nurturing a child received, how they were parented, the experiences they had, and the influences of people around them. After seeing how similar my mom and brother are I have changed my thinking.”
I agree with your conclusion that genetics must play a huge role. I know you don't negate these items above, but I just wanted to point out that I believe that parenting style could have had a lot to do with how your brother turned out.
Although the marriage (presumably) ended, your parents could have very well established parenting parameters in the time while they were together. Undoubtedly they were drawn together in the first place from commonality, and it is likely your father adopted the same parenting habits as your mother, and therefore raised your brother with similar pretenses. The nurturing practices and experiences your brother lived could have in a lot of ways been similar to the practices of parenting your mother created for you.
Also, with the 'genetic melting pot' between your father and mother, your father could have picked up on certain genetic mannerisms that his son received from his mom, and reacted to them according to how he would with your mother. I believe personalities are largely 'tweaked' by the relationships we have, and the qualities your brother picked up from his mom could very well be 'tweaked' in a way that your mothers were when she was with your father, drawing certain emotional and personality similarities between mother and son.
My mom was 15 and her husband was 20 when they married (because she was pregnant). The marriage lasted for 5 years, my brother wasn't raised by his dad either but was raised by his grandmother. We have different dads and I am much more like my dad than my mom. I can't say I am nothing like my mom though. After having kids I found myself parenting similarly to the way my mom did in specific cases.
DeleteI do believe personalities are "tweaked" somewhat by the relationships we have. However, I really strongly believe by my experiences that genetics play a huge role in who we are and who we become.